Sunday, July 1, 2012

Oh, evolve already...

So, last week, I wrote about Brave and how some silly man, Adam Markovitz, claimed that because Merida rejected the traditional female role, she might be gay.

Photo by Ralf Skjeming via flickr
I'm still pissed off over that. The traditional female role, according to Markovitz is to fawn over boys and want to get married and be just like Mom. Isn't it high time that notion was booted to the bin of history? If a girl wants to get married, fine. But not wanting marriage or children or a life of making sandwiches doesn't make a girl a lesbian--it makes her independent.
And this week we have Neanderthal Doug Giles over at Townhall offering up the Ten Commandments of dating his daughter.
Commandment I. Thou shall understand that your presence doesn't make me happy. And know this: I've got a PI doing a background check on you at this moment.
Right off the bat...any young man dating his daughter makes him unhappy. And he wants it clear that his daughter is not a good judge of character, so the background check is running.
Commandment III. Thou shall not touch my daughter. If you do, I'll smash your hands and your mommy will have to help you gel your Justin Bieber haircut.
It's not his daughter's choice to be touched or not. It's his. He owns her. He makes the decisions about who holds her hand, who kisses her, and who has sex with her. And if any young man disobeys, he will resort to violence.
Commandment VI. Thou shall know that our family is old school. Do not even think about approaching me with liberal, hippie, agnostic, atheistic, anti-American or tree-humping bull crap.
Giles' daughter does not have a mind of her own. She is not allowed to date hippies, liberals, or atheists, because her master says so.
Commandment VII. Thou shall know that I like cool and expensive gifts. You'd be shrewd to approach me like the three wise men did Baby Jesus, namely with gold, frankincense and myrrh.
His daughter is property to be rented out, bought and paid for. Perhaps if a young man offered Giles enough in expensive gifts, he'd be allowed to touch the girl.

Commandment VIII. Thou shall understand that if you're dumb enough to tell me a dirty joke, I'm comfortable enough with kicking your ass.
And again, Giles makes it clear that he is all-too willing to resort to violence over any slight done him by any young man his daughter might want to date--because she's not an independent woman with a mind of her own whose dating choices ought to be respected.

Giles offers print copies of his Ten Commandments for purchase over at the Patriot Depot (because every true patriot enslaves his women). The print has an icon for each commandment. The icons are...can you guess? Weapons. A gun, a fist, an ax, a baseball bat. Nice touch.

Giles is a real man. He owns his females. He makes their choices for them. And he will kick your ass.

Now, I know that this is Townhall, and what you find there is often ridiculously conservative, hysterical, and backward. And I know that Giles thinks he's funny. But you and I both know that behind Giles' over-the-top man rant lies the truth that he believes his daughter is his property.

Anytime you hear men jokingly talk about kicking the asses of their daughters' would-be suitors, this is at the heart of it: their precious girls belong to them and they don't want them defiled.

It's fine, if not expected, that their sons will enjoy a few slutty escapades. Boy sluts are real men--virile and healthy.

But girls? Oh, no. Girls may not enjoy any sluttery. Girl sluts are shameful and diseased.

Too many men can't figure out that loving women doesn't equal making their choices for them and beating up rivals. But I suppose if you're a proud Neanderthal grunt, who tries to control with dictates and threats of violence (even in your humor....or especially in your humor) you're not man enough (or is it smart enough?) to know how to respect women.